Barry Farber

Barry Farber consults with a variety of industries, helping them break through the sales clutter and land more deals. He specializes in growing and expanding his customers' businesses through creative and simple sales and marketing strategies that get results. Rated as the "hottest speaker of the year" by Successful Meetings magazine, Farber is the best-selling author of 11 books that have been translated into more than 25 foreign languages with over one million copies sold. He has written extensively for such magazines as Entrepreneur and Sales and Marketing Management and trained more than 300,000 business professionals from a clientele that includes AT&T, American Express, ESPN/ABC Sports, Merck and Verizon. Farber is also the winner of three Telly Awards and was nominated for an Emmy as the executive producer of the Jackie Mason Television Show. He has been featured in several publications, including Adweek, Investors Business Daily, U.S. News & World Report, Variety and The New York Times. For more information on Farber, visit www.barryfarber.com.

One Harvard Business School study determined that there were four factors critical to success: information, intelligence, skill and attitude. When these factors were ranked as to importance, this particular study found that information, intelligence and skill combined amounted to 7% of the effectiveness and attitude amounted to 93%!  Could it be that 93% of our success in work, and in life, results from our attitude?

I remember hearing a story of two people going to work each day in New York City and every morning they would stop at the same newsstand where one of them would buy the daily paper. After paying for the paper, one of the men would say thanks with an enthusiastic smile and walk away. The odd thing was the owner of the newsstand wouldn’t even acknowledge the man or smile back. He just took his money and ignored him. Well, the two of them passed the same newsstand every day for four years and every time the owner would respond in the same cold way.

One morning after the man purchased his paper with a big smile and said thank you as he normally does, his friend turned to him and asked him why he still smiles and says hello every time when the guy is so rude and doesn’t even respond in a semi-positive way. His response was: “I’m not going to let that person determine the way I act for the day.” How many times have we let other people determine the way we act for the day, week or year!

I know things can get bad and some days we wonder how we even survived through them but I have to tell you another story that seems to put the attitude factor in its place. On one of the Nightline-type programs, there was a story about a boy named Charlie who was 8 years old and had a rare form of thyroid cancer. Doctors told Charlie’s mom that he had less than six months to live.

When they interviewed Charlie’s mom, she told the reporter that when she would give Charlie his allowance money he wouldn’t buy anything for himself. Instead, he went to the toy store and bought toys for all the other kids on his floor in the hospital.  When the reporter asked Charlie why he did that, his answer was: “Because it makes me feel good.”

Because it made him FEEL GOOD…Charlie was 8 years old with 80 years of wisdom and he didn’t live up to his doctors diagnosis. His cancer went into remission and he lived four more years to the age of 12. We have a choice every day how we will live and how we will react to others. It’s impossible to have a great day with a bad attitude. It’s also impossible to have a bad day with a great attitude.

—Barry Farber consults with a variety of industries to help them grow and expand their business. He is the best-selling author of 11 books on sales, management and customer service. His latest release, the “Diamond in the Rough” CD program, is based on his best-selling book, radio and television show. Visit him at: www.BarryFarber.com or email him at: barry@barryfarber.com.

What does perseverance mean?

The dictionary states that perseverance is “the act of persevering, continued, patient effort.” I think it means getting worn down…getting beat up…being told no over and over again..not getting that promotion you wanted…not getting the position you expected…getting shut down by people who think you’re not talented enough, getting rejected, falling over and over…

But—and this is a BIG BUT—it’s getting up with an attitude of never ever quitting…not caring what other people think or say or do if you know deep inside you’re doing the right thing…using losing to come back with more intelligent action the next time you get to bat.

“No” can make you go if you use it wisely. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Attitude determines your altitude. Fall down eight times, get up the ninth. The harder you work, the luckier you get. There are more clichés like this…too many of them to count.

In fact, I wrote a book about the top 12 clichés. Why? Because for some reason a cliché becomes a cliché from being said over and over because of all the truth in them.

Perseverance is and does a lot more than “continued, patient effort”. It builds character, will power, determination, tenacity and a quiet confidence that gives one a rooted foundation because we have earned the right.

I know there is a lot of weight that money has in determining success, but I’ve never had the excitement or burst of enthusiasm from a check that I’ve received vs. an achievement with 20, 50 or 100 plus “no’s” included in the effort. In fact, the greatest achievements of all time have come from the bitterness of massive failure. Look up the light bulb, Post-It notes, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Walt Disney or any huge success and you will usually see a pattern of past failures.

It’s the fall that fascinates me because of the advantages gained when one gets back up:

“In each age, men of genius undertake the ascent. From below, the world follows them with their eyes. These men go up the mountain, enter the clouds, disappear, reappear. People watch them, mark them. They walk by the sides of precipices. They daringly pursue their road. See them aloft, see them in the distance; they are but black specks. On they go. The road is uneven, its difficulties constant. At each step a wall, at each step a trap. As they rise the cold increases. They must make their ladder, cut the ice and walk on it, hewing the steps in haste. A storm is raging. Nevertheless, they go forward in their madness. The air becomes difficult to breathe. The abyss yawns below them. Some fall. Others stop and retrace their steps; there is a sad weariness.

THE BOLD ONES CONTINUE. THEY ARE EYED BY THE EAGLES; THE LIGHTNING PLAYS ABOUT THEM; THE HURRICANE IS FURIOUS. NO MATTER, THEY PERSEVERE.”—Victor Hugo

—Barry Farber

Are we really present these days? How many places can we be at one time?

In business meetings, I see people having conversations while at the same time responding to emails on their Blackberrys (myself included!). Are we really present with the person we are in front of? How urgent is it that we respond right away?

I just came back from a one-day seminar I presented in South Africa, where I brought my 12-year-old son with me for a week vacation after the event. For the first time in a long time, we spent the best quality time together without being somewhere else. When’s the last time you spent a day with your kids, friends, or spouse without the interruption of technology?

Don’t get me wrong, technology has its place just as the automobile, but just because I have one doesn’t mean I drive it around the block all day long. My relationship with my son has never been stronger. I did not bury myself in my emails and he did not disappear into a video game. Building strong relationships does not happen through email, Facebook, or any venue as powerful as being in the present and being present.

While writing this piece, I decided to reach out to Michael “Dr. Woody” Woodward, Ph.D., executive coach and author of The YOU Plan, to get his thoughts on this notion of being present. According to Dr. Woody, “both our personal and professional lives have become dominated by our need for constant and immediate communication.” He went on to say that “we have created this general expectation that if you ping me on my wireless device, I must get back to you ASAP, otherwise I’m somehow slighting you by not making your need for a response a priority.” Our attachments to our mobile devices have even gotten to the point where we will interrupt in-person one-on-one conversations in favor of checking that ding coming from my pocket. “It’s as if we have lost our ability to engage those standing right in front of us,” said Dr. Woody. I tend to agree, which is the reason I chose to bring my son to South Africa in the hopes of escaping at least some of the digital distraction.

When it comes to social media, the distractions can be even more challenging. Just recently the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) took up the case of a woman who was fired for trashing her boss on Facebook. According to Dr. Woody “what’s unfortunate about this case is the fact that this woman chose to turn her dispute into a nasty public rant instead of first handling the matter in private with the relevant parties or through proper channels.” This type of display seems to be something we are seeing more of these days. He went on to say, “it worries me that social media has become a vehicle for uncontrolled and reckless venting.”

At the end of the day there’s a real need to not only be present, but also thoughtful in our interactions. So, every time you are tempted to pick up that device or update your status, you should ask yourself, can it wait just a few minutes? Do I really need to divert myself from the current conversation?

The past is history, the future is a mystery and today is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.

—Barry Farber

Last week I asked a group of salespeople, managers and directors a question before starting a two-hour program on new business acquisition. I asked them, ”What is the one thing you need to do that will generate more business for you and retain those customers more than anything else?”

What do you think they said? Some said increasing sales activity. Some said tenacity and some said believing in your product. All good answers but not the one I was looking for that was omnipotent.

The answer I was looking for was the ability to build trust with your prospects and customers. The ability to have people like you, trust you and respect the knowledge you bring to the table.

Trust is what makes people feel comfortable doing business with you. It makes them feel like the decision they make will not come back to haunt them later. How do you build trust? Here are five key points to keep in mind—and I will use trust as an acronym:

T…stands for Truth. Sometimes we think the truth will kill a deal because we don’t want to tell the customer the “real” delivery date because they might not order. We have to see that they might not ever order again! Realize it’s better to lose the battle and win the war.

R…stands for Reliability. How fast do you respond? When the customer asks for specific product information, do they get what they need and if it has to be mailed is it sent out on time?

U…stands for Understanding. How much listening do you do prior to your recommendation? Do you ask questions that allow the prospect to give you a big overview of their situation? Do you also ask detailed questions to focus in on their hot buttons? We need to learn to listen and listen to learn.

S…stands for Service. Doing the little things makes a big difference. Following up with the customer with additional information that could help them make a better decision shows your service to sell value. Sending handwritten thank-you notes after the sale with a small gift that relates to something you found out about that unique customer shows you appreciate their business. Our rewards in life are in direct proportion to our service.

T…stands for Truth. From beginning to end it’s what keeps the relationship together. One small lie can ruin 16 years of trust. Your actions need to demonstrate your commitment to that customer so they see past lip service. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best: “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you are saying.”

—Barry Farber